


Error 404

by MagicaDraconia16



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Gen, Secret Snarry Swap 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-08-29 09:56:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16741819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicaDraconia16/pseuds/MagicaDraconia16
Summary: Welcome to the Auror Corps Technical Support. We thank you for your patience. An agent will be available shortly!





	Error 404

**Author's Note:**

> One of these problems came from the website Not Always Right, and two came from my own experience (one from the tech side, one from the client side). In double-checking for the answer to one of those problems, I found it on superuser.com (and from my own experience).
> 
> Prompt 40 from digthewriter: Non MAGIC AU. Tech support!HARRY. Annoyed and hates computers!SNAPE.

  _Welcome to Auror Corps Technical Support._

_An agent will be available to help you shortly._

_Thanks for your patience!_

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Hi there, my name’s Harry Potter. May I have your name?

 

**You**

Severus Snape.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

All right, what can I help you with today?

 

**You**

My computer will not turn on.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Okay. Have you checked all the powers cords are connected properly?

 

**You**

I am not stupid.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

I never said you were, sir. It’s just that sometimes power cords can become a bit…touchy, and need a bit of fiddling with before they work properly.

 

**You**

**…**

 

**You**

**…**

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Um, sir? Are you still there?

 

_Are you sure you want to exit the chat?_

_Thank you for visiting Auror Corps Technical Support!_

 

* * *

 

_Auror Corps Technical Support_

_Client Waiting On-Line_

_Assigning to next available agent…_

_Connected!_

 

_You_

Hi there, my name’s Harry Potter. May I take your name?

 

**Client**

Severus Snape.

 

_You_

Alrighty, what do you need help with today?

 

**Client**

My screen is blue.

 

_You_

Well, that doesn’t sound good. Okay, was it blue immediately after you turned it on, or did it boot up first?

 

**Client**

It was blue when it arrived.

 

_You_

Ah, okay, so it never booted up at all?

 

**Client**

It works fine. The screen is just blue.

 

_You_

**…**

 

_You_

Um, I think we may be talking at cross-purposes here. When you say it works fine but the screen is blue…?

 

**Client**

I mean the screen is blue. I ordered a black one.

 

_You_

**…**

 

_You_

**…**

 

_You_

Right. Okay. Silly question here, but did you peel the protective plastic off?

 

**Client**

Of course I

 

_Chat disconnected!_

_Client has exited chat_

_Agent returned to queue…_

 

* * *

 

_Welcome to Auror Corps Technical Support._

_An agent will be available to help you shortly._

_Thanks for your patience!_

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Hi there, my name’s Harry Potter. May I have your name?

 

**You**

Severus Snape.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Okay, what can I help you with today?

 

**You**

My screen is constantly blocked by things popping up that won’t go away. How do I get rid of them?

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Ooh, that’s not good. What anti-virus are you using?

 

**You**

What?

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Anti-virus. What anti-virus programme are you using?

 

**You**

I have no idea. Whatever was on this machine when I bought it.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Ah, okay, I can look that up. What model is it?

 

**You**

Hogwarts 1977.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

**…**

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

**…**

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Um, wow, I wasn’t aware we even sold that model anymore. Can I ask when you bought it? Do you know the date?

 

**You**

1977.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

**…**

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

**…**

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Right, okay, let me just check something with my manager. I’ll just be a minute.

 

**You**

I’ll be waiting.

 

**You**

**…**

 

**You**

**…**

 

**You**

**…**

 

**You**

**…**

 

**You**

For goodness sake! How long is this going to take?

 

**You**

**…**

 

**You**

**…**

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

I’m very sorry about the wait, sir. I’ve been speaking with several of my colleagues and managers. Unfortunately, we don’t offer support for that particular model any longer…

 

**You**

And you call yourself support?!

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

I really am very sorry, sir, but we stopped supporting that unit at least twenty years ago. To be honest, it’s older than I am. Nobody here knows of any company that still works on them. I’m afraid your best bet now is to purchase a new unit with an accompanying anti-virus programme. Is there—

 

_Are you sure you want to exit the chat?_

_Thank you for visiting Auror Corps Technical Support!_

 

* * *

  

_Auror Corps Technical Support_

_Client Waiting On-Line_

_Assigning to next available agent..._

 

_Connected!_

 

_You_

Good morning, my name is Harry Potter. Could I take your name?

 

**Client**

Severus Snape.

 

("Oh, bloody hell!")

_You_

And how can I help you today?

 

**Client**

I cannot access my email.

 

_You_

Okay, which email client are you with?

 

**Client**

OwlPost

 

_You_

Okay, let me just check our system, one minute.

 

_You_

...

 

_You_

I'm not seeing any problems cropping up at our end. Are you getting an error message?

 

**Client**

It says OwlPost has unfortunately flown the coop, please try again later.

 

("Bugger!")

_You_

Unfortunately, that's a problem with OwlPost's servers. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about that. You'll just have to wait until it comes back up again.

 

**Client**

And how long will that be?

 

_You_

I'm afraid I can't answer that, sir.

 

**Client**

Well, I'll check back with you in a couple of hours and see.

 

("Wha—?")

_You_

Sir, really, there's no point—

 

 

 

_Chat disconnected!_

_Client has exited chat_

_Agent returned to queue..._

("ARGGGHHHHH...!")

* * *

  

 

_Welcome to Auror Corps Technical Support._

_An agent will be available to help you shortly._

_Thanks for your patience!_

_Auror Corps Technician_

Hello there, I'm Harry Potter. May I take your name, please?

 

**You**

Severus Snape.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

And how can I help?

 

**You**

I recently received a document from a colleague in Bethlehem, but when I try to edit the document, the text comes out all back to front.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Back to front? You mean it's going right-to-left, instead of the usual left-to-right?

 

**You**

That is what I just said, is it not?

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Just double checking, sir. What kind of document is it?

 

**You**

It's an article on the best way to mix—

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Ah, no, sorry, sir. I meant, what *type* of document is it? A Parchment document? Illuminate presentation? List-all spreadsheet?

 

**You**

Oh. It's a simple Parchment document.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Okay, and have you tried copy and pasting the text over into a new document?

 

**You**

I have. The same problem happens in the new document as well.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Have you tried copying it as plain text?

 

**You**

What part of “I have tried copy and pasting” is confusing you, exactly?

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Sir, there's no need for that kind of attitude. I'm just trying to establish what steps you've already taken so that I don't go over them again. Now, since copying as plain text didn't work then I just need to go and check settings to see how I can help. I'll just be a moment. Do you know which Parchment version you're using?

 

**You**

2013.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Alright. One moment, sir.

 

**You**

Fine.

 

**You**

...

 

**You**

...

 

**You**

...

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Okay, sir, sorry about the wait. I've got a step-by-step process here of how to fix the issue. Would you like me to go through it with you via the chat, or should I email the instructions to you?

 

**You**

Email will do well enough.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Okay. I've sent the instructions to the email address we have on file for you. Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?

 

**You**

Not at the moment, but I'm sure I'll be back when your instructions prove nonsensical.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

...

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

...

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Alrighty, then. Have a good day, sir.

 

**You**

Humph!

 

 

 

_Are you sure you want to exit the chat?_

_Thank you for visiting Auror Corps Technical Support!_

* * *

  

  _Welcome to Auror Corps Technical Support._

_An agent will be available to help you shortly._

_Thanks for your patience!_

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

Hello, my name is Harry Potter. May I take your name, please?

 

__**You** _ _

Severus Snape.

 

_Auror Corps Technician_

And how ca—

 

 

 

 

_We're very sorry, but it looks as though there's a problem with the Auror Corps Technical Support. Please refresh the page, or try again later!_

_Error 404: Page Not Found_

_Oops, the page that you're looking for either doesn't exist or may have moved!  
Please try browsing from our main page_

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment here or at [LiveJournal](https://snape-potter.livejournal.com/3847229.html), [Insanejournal](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/snape_potter/1780126.html), or [Dreamwidth](https://snape-potter.dreamwidth.org/1097478.html).


End file.
